Part of what makes The Boys in the Band such an interesting film to watch is that it portrays characters who seem to breathe with richness and depth. As flawed as they are, these seem like men that one could meet even in the present- even if the present has a few problems with their portrayal.
This is no small accomplishment, considering it is set in 1969, long before being gay was so much a part of the cultural landscape. One of the key things that differentiates it is, of course, their intelligence, and while some of them are quite bright, there are a few that are, sadly, rather dim bulbs.
9 Cowboy
There’s no question that Cowboy is, sadly, the last intelligence of the characters. From the moment that he appears at the door, he stumbles from one silly statement to another. Time and again, he says something that makes the other characters look at him with incredulity that someone could be so unintelligent. However, despite his lack of intellect, it’s also clear that he’s thoughtful in his own way and that, more importantly, he seems to be a genuinely good person who doesn't’ want to cause anyone any unnecessary pain.
8 Alan
Alan is Michael’s painfully straight friend from college, and from the beginning it’s clear that he’s not terribly bright in some important ways. Most significantly, it’s obvious that he doesn’t know that Michael is gay, and it takes him far longer than it should to realize that the others are as well. It’s more than that, though. He also seems to lack any sense of emotional intelligence, and this leads him to say some very cruel and hurtful things, and it also leads to him punching Emory in a rage.
7 Emory
Emory is a very likable sort of character, and he clearly is very comfortable in his own skin. Though the audience doesn’t get a great deal of insight into his inner life, it’s pretty clear that he’s one of those people who just sort of floats through life without a great deal of thought or contemplation about life.
For all of that, though, he does seem to have a bit of emotional intelligence, and he clearly knows who he is and is okay with living life on his own terms regardless of what others might think about him.
6 Larry
Larry is definitely one of the bitterest characters that appear in the film, and a great of this has to do with the fact that he wants a very different relationship than the man that he is currently with, Hank. He is under the impression that Hank resents him for his desire to have an open relationship, and he spends much of the film needling Hank relentlessly, his cruelty knowing almost no bounds. Though he’s intelligent enough, he’s not smart enough to recognize the truth looking him right in the face: that Hank loves him more than anyone else.
5 Donald
Donald, played by Matt Bomer, has a certain naivete about him that’s rather charming. He’s not unintelligent by any means, but he’s also not the sort of person who wears his erudition on his sleeve. He is, in some ways, the most emotionally intelligent of the entire cast, which means that he is able to grasp the complexities and contradictions of Michael’s personality in ways that even Michael himself cannot. One has to give him a lot of credit for being wise in the ways of the human heart and mind in ways that most of the other characters are not.
4 Michael
In some ways, Michael is the beating heart of the play. He’s the one that hosts the birthday party for his friend Harold, and he’s the one that manages to manipulate all of the others into playing the vicious telephone game in which they have to call the one person they’ve always loved and confess their feelings.
He also seems quite eloquent and well-spoken. Emotionally, though, he’s definitely not one of the most intelligent people, since he goes out of his way to be mean and cruel to the very people who he should be nice to.
3 Bernard
2 Hank
Hank, Larry’s partner, is one of the more level-headed of this group of friends. This makes sense, given that he’s a teacher (of math). This means that he has a very even temperament, and he’s smart enough to try to calm everyone down when things start getting out of hand (which happens quite a lot at this party). He’s also smart enough to recognize the truth about his own feelings for Larry, and he’s not afraid to be open about them (even if Larry is).
1 Harold
The caustic, embittered Harold is, of course, the person whose birthday party is the motivator for the entire plot. He also makes clear that he’s one of the smartest members of the group of friends. He has a lot in common with Michael but, unlike his friend, he recognizes and accepts the truth about himself. He also seems to be a person of some erudition, and it’s clear that he takes learning and culture quite seriously, and it’s hard not to be awe of the way in which he embodies the aesthete persona.
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