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Grand Theft Auto: 10 Quotes That Prove Niko Bellic Is The Funniest Protagonist

For decades (but especially in the early 2000s), the Grand Theft Auto series has met debate regarding its violence, immoral protagonists, and the potential effects it could have on any children who get ahold of the game. Unsurprisingly, the protagonists of Grand Theft Auto are not very likable people. In fact, most of them are downright horrible, as seen with Trevor in Grand Theft Auto V.

RELATED: Grand Theft Auto: The 10 Best Supporting Characters In The Franchise

Niko Bellic, on the other hand, from Grand Theft Auto IV, is by far the most likable and sympathetic protagonist. He may also be the funniest.

8 "I Suck At Life, But I Bowl Like An Angel."

Niko Bellic doesn't have a great life, but at least he knows it. Grand Theft Auto IV was full of minigames, and one of them involved taking friends and dates bowling. Provided the player does well, Niko will confidently claim, "I suck at life, but I bowl like an angel."

It's a very funny quote (especially in regards to Niko's pathetically low esteem of himself), but also quite cute. There's just something inherently charming about a sad-sack with low self-esteem taking pride in his bowling capabilities.

7 "Maybe If Being A Drunkard Doesn't Work Out, You Can Be A Comedian."

Niko is quite nice to those who are nice to him, but there's no denying that he has a sarcastic edge. This personality trait certainly rears its head around popular drunk Patrick McReary. While meeting Packie, Packie offers Niko a beer. Niko turns it down, prompting Packie to say, "Good. 'Cause I ain't f***ing got none."

This prompts Niko to spout the above quote, throwing Packie's stupid joke right back in his face. He isn't afraid to mess with those closest to him, and it comes across as quite hilarious.

6 "YELLOW CAR!"

Grand Theft Auto IV featured a new mechanic - one who got completely drunk. Despite, once again, proving controversial, the drunk mechanic was typically good for a laugh, whether it was Niko bumbling around and falling into objects or screaming hilarious quotes.

RELATED: Grand Theft Auto V's 10 Best Mods To Refresh The Game In 2021

Perhaps the funniest of them all is "YEEEELLLLOOOWW CAAAAR!" - which he often screams while trying to hail a taxi. Drunk Niko is the funniest Niko, and there's something really funny about a taxi being called a "yellow car" (even if that's technically what it is...).

5 "He's A Cool Guy."

Brucie Kibbutz is easily one of the most memorable side characters in the Grand Theft Auto series. He is the proprietor of a car garage called Brucie's Executive Lifestyle Autos, but perhaps more importantly, he is a steroid-fueled, incredibly hyperactive individual.

Niko sizes him up within seconds, telling Roman with dripping sarcasm, "He's a cool guy." He says what the player was thinking, and his sarcasm proves wonderfully hilarious.

4 "He's A Rat Doing An Impression Of A Man."

Upon meeting Phil Bell, Phil asks Niko if he's a friend of Ray Boccino. Niko answers that Ray is "a rat doing an impression of a man." It's a clever little put-down. Phil certainly likes it, prompting him to reply, "That's pretty good."

RELATED: Grand Theft Auto 6: All Previous GTA Games, Ranked By Gamespot Score

It's yet another instance of a character acknowledging Niko's clever sense of humor and creative way with words - almost as if Rockstar and the team of writers are acknowledging Niko's sense of humor and repeatedly pointing it out to the audience. They really wanted players to like Niko, and they were certainly successful in that regard.

3 "Your Parents Were Right To Hate You."

Every Grand Theft Auto character has their own unique quips when it comes to interacting with pedestrians. Niko is quite a temperamental man, so he always has a quick comeback whenever it comes to people nearly running him over or honking at him (granted, the honking is always justified).

Perhaps the best, and funniest comeback of them all is, "Your parents were right to hate you." It's just so blunt and so cutting that it turns shockingly hilarious.

2 "I Don't Even Have A License!"

The protagonists of Grand Theft Auto are also quite vocal when it comes to driving. Most of them have unique quips for running people over or crashing into other cars, and Niko has a slew of good ones. But the funniest of them all is, "I don't even have a license!"

It's the simplicity of the quote that makes it hilarious, almost as if Niko is taking pride in the fact that he just hit someone.

1 "Damn, This Isn't The Right Car For That S***!"

Stunt jumps are a staple of the Grand Theft Auto series, having been featured in every 3D game of the series. They're a ton of fun, but they can also be a source of frustration - especially failing a jump that required a lot of work to set up. After failing a jump, Niko may utter, "Damn, this isn't the right car for that s***".

It's a funny quote, but it may also serve as a great bit of meta-comedy, commenting on the inevitable excuses that players will make after failing a jump. It's never the player's fault - it's always that darned car...

NEXT: Grand Theft Auto VI: 10 Things We Want To See Added To The Game Series



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