Rebecca is a beloved character on This Is Us, but just like every other character, she isn't perfect. The issue of Rebecca keeping the knowledge of Randall's birth father William from him his entire life is perhaps the biggest conflict of season one, and possibly one of the largest of the show as a whole. After learning of the particulars how just how much Rebecca knew and how much she chose to conceal, fans of the show were faced with a great dilemma.
Randall (Sterling K. Brown) has several valid reasons to feel betrayed by Rebecca, and many wouldn't hold it against him if he chose to never speak to her again. But at the same time, Rebecca has her own reasons for doing what she did, however flawed they are. As always, the show offers several sides of both stories.
10 Shouldn't Have: She Lied To Him
There's no doubt about it, Rebecca bold-faced lied to Randall. She knew that he wanted to meet his birth parents. It isn't as if Randall had never shown any interest in where he came from, therefore making it somewhat understandable that Rebecca never opened the avenue for him.
Randall regularly asked about his birth parents, and Rebecca lied to him every single time. How could Randall ever trust her again knowing this?
9 Should Have: She Was Afraid Of Losing Him
Anybody who loves somebody, especially mothers, can attest to the fact that it's terrifying to imagine the possibility of a loved one being taken away. Randall may have been adopted by the Pearsons, but Rebecca didn't know if it was possible for his birth parents to claim rights to him if ever they decided to.
Knowing this, Randall might consider that Rebecca was purely terrified of losing her child should she allow his birth parents to meet him.
8 Shouldn't Have: She Lied To Jack
Not only did Rebecca lie to Randall, but she kept the same information from Jack Pearson (Milo Venimiglia) throughout Randall's entire life.
Doing this took away any opportunity for Randall to have had both his birth and adopted father meet before one of his parents died, and it also meant that Rebecca didn't give Randall's other parent a chance to advocate for him in a way that might have been a better call.
7 Should Have: She's His Kids' Grandmother
Something that makes choosing to cross a parent out of one's life is if children are involved.
Randall's daughters are accustomed to having Rebecca in their lives, and if he had chosen not to forgive her this would have not only impacted his life but in turn been a difficult move to make as a parent, knowing his own children might grow to resent him for it.
6 Shouldn't Have: She Was Selfish
Rebecca may have kept the information to herself out of fear, but it doesn't make what she did any fairer. She owed it to her husband to let him in on a decision that would vitally impact the life of their son.
She owed it to her son to tell him once he was older, if not when he was young. The fact that she never found an opportunity to tell him despite every opportunity makes her harder to forgive.
5 Should Have: She Bore The Burden Of A Secret
There's an argument to be made for the difficulty and stress Rebecca must have experienced by keeping a huge secret to herself for half of her life, and all of Randall's life.
Whether her reasons for doing so were fair in Randall's eyes or not, she underwent a great burden of worrying whether or not she was doing the right thing.
4 Shouldn't Have: She Didn't Give Him A Choice
Rebecca thought she made the right decision for Randall, but she couldn't have known what the right decision was.
Keeping his father from him while he was too young to process is far enough, but after Randall became an adult there was little reason why he shouldn't have had the option of choosing for himself.
3 Should Have: She Was Protecting Him
William seemed perfectly good and nice the two times that Rebecca met him, but this doesn't tell her all that much about him.
She was a woman raising three children and didn't have the time to spend looking into William's life and taking on a whole new risk. For all she knew, William could enter Randall's life and completely disappoint him, leaving her feeling responsible.
2 Shouldn't Have: She Hurt William
Keeping William from Randall didn't only hurt Randall; it hurt William greatly.
It's heartbreaking to see the manuscript of poems that William wrote for Randall before he even knew him, showing that William spent time wondering about his son and wishing he could at least know him a little. Rebecca took this option away from him.
1 Should Have: She Already Lost One Child
The greatest point in Rebecca's defense is the trauma she must have faced in losing a child at birth. Nobody can know the exact pain each mother faces when their child dies, and so trying to judge Rebecca's own process is pointless.
It is valid to take into account the distress she would feel when considering how she could lose Randall after having already lost a child, and that trauma could have contributed to her selfish behavior.
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